The Story Behind

I finally tendered my resignation last week after months of contemplation (more than a year, actually).
To my close friends both at the office and outside, it was not a big surprise – I’ve been planning on leaving the company since late last year, with an initial target of December 31, 2008, only to delay it due to the economic crisis. So last May, while visiting in Singapore, I told my friend Gelle that I’m pushing back to December 31, 2009.  

I figured, what’s another year of waiting? Besides, I love the company and while I have only few friends here, they are friends I can call or text even late at night for nothing.
 
What made me decide to leave? Of course, this question is inevitable. All my bosses asked me this and I gave them an honest answer – I’m tired and I’m frustrated. And I don’t think I can contribute to the team anymore with this much emotional baggage.
 
I’m tired and frustrated – there were peaks and valleys, yes, but just when I am surfacing I getsubmerged again. Ipe had actually wanted me to leave right after June 2009 closing. Endof July or mid-August, when my departure would have been totally felt by the team, when my departure would have crippled them. Imagine, they would have to juggle six legal entities for income taxes, eight for value added taxes, and one for withholding taxes. Plus the projects. Even I myself could not imagine how they could have survived it. So I stayed. I told Ipe, “kawawa naman kapalit ko.
 
I’m tired and frustrated that I spend more than twelve hours a day at the office, then log in later at night. And work on weekends. Particularly during last quarter last year and third quarter of this year. I missed all the holidays.
 
And I miss my family. I would leave early in the morning when Joey is still sleeping and come back when he is already asleep. And on the rare nights when I do get home before his bedtime, I still need to work.
 
I’m tired and frustrated and it shows. Almost every morning, my heart palpitates and I get chest pains. Even my thyroid is acting up and my skin asthma. (For those who don’t know, I have rheumatic heart and thyroid problems coupled with skin asthma).
 
So I’m leaving finally. It wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. I had planned it well in advance – that’s why I agreed to be co-captain in our teambuilding, be a model for the company Christmas party… I wanted to do as much as I can before leaving.
 
So yes, this is final.
 

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