I finally managed to open my Friendster account after eternity and checked my blog there (yes, I did the blog thing on Frienster, then WordPress, but I was never loyal until now). Some of my posts are actually fun – revealling a much younger and naive me. Hahaha.
Here’s one my oldest post related to love – written about a year and half into happy coupledom and I think the week we got engaged. I was so giddy it makes me laugh knowing I wrote this five years ago. Haha.
August 15th, 2005 by cristinacruz
it’s been forever since i last checked out friendster… been too busy with work. but just as i’ve told my friend carli over lunch today, i actually enjoy being busy. i love the pressure of seeing my ofc mailbox crammed full and my desktop pc barely able to keep up with all the files kept open (no wonder my pc keeps making these strange sounds like its going to explode any minute). and i actually love staying late in the office because i have so many things to do! and that is a very rare case – me loving anything that keeps me thinking ten to twelve hours straight. and i actually have this ugly kalyo on my right wrist — and you know what? i don’t care. this must be love!!! (hahaha)
speaking of love… i’m soooo happy right now. i mean, it’s almost a crime to be happy and oblivious to what’s going on in the country — but honestly, i’ve always been apathetic. Couldn’t care less as long as i’m left to mind my own business. Politics and the economy is already too messed up for me to join the fray. Besides, i know just as much as my dog, Tiger, does so it’s best that i keep myself out of where i dont belong (am i making sense or am i just rambling on???).
back to love. yes, i’m so happy. everybody deserves to be as happy as i am now. most of you probably know already why (if you don’t, then why are you even reading this???). but it feels even better to write it down and let the whole world know (hey, this account is free, i can write anything i want so bear with me).
but happiness does lead to one problem- i cant think straight, can’t write straight (err, i think having to talk to Japanese all day is largely to blame — haha!). I’ve always been more effective with words when i’m sad, near the point of depression. Now that I’m happy, there’s just nothing to write about. Or rather, too much to write about that I can’t start. And I doubt if there is any way you can ever write how happy you are. I mean, we analyze sadness, bitterness and all these feelings because we want to lessen them, we want to understand and make them go away. But with happiness, there’s just nothing to analyze there. Nothing to dissect, because you take happiness as it is. You don’t make some excuse or find a reason. You’re just happy and that’s that.
oh yes, i’m so happy. just wanted to emphasize my point.