About a year ago, I made one wrong decision which derailed my plans by about two years – for the one year that I stood by my wrong decision and another to regain what I had lost. Funny thing is, even before making that decision, I knew it was wrong – all my friends warned me not to do it, all the signs I asked for led the way to an entirely different and obviously better path, and heck, even my family advised me to do the opposite of what I did. But being the predictable stubborn person that I am, I ignored all these and convinced myself that I knew better.
I am now slowly recovering from that mistake, relatively unscathed but I did learn a lot of things along the way:
- We don’t really change; we only become a perfection of what we were in the first place. This quote, which was used largely to describe the eponymous Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice, stuck to my mind ever since I read it over a decade ago because it rings with unmistakable truth. But forever the optimist, I anchored my decision in the belief that a person can change for the better. And I was proven wrong – very very wrong. People can change, in fact, for the worse, or as in the quote, towards attaining perfection of what they were. So if that person was bad, then he/she can be even more bad-ass over time.
- There’s a catch. Always. When it sounds too good and the people saying it is giving you sickeningly sweet smiles, be wary. It is too good to be true.
- Don’t lie. Especially to someone who knows too much about you. You will get caught eventually. Now, this doesn’t pertain to me as I was the one lied to constantly. But still, you get the picture.
- Do not powertrip – the people you step on on your way up are also the people you will meet on your way down.
- Trust my instincts. Looking back now, my instinct has never let me down. It was just that I often refuse to heed it, and that’s when all the problems come in.
- You can find friends in the most unlikely places. I never thought to make friends the entire time I was toiling away my wrong decision. But I guess, when adversity is thrown at you, you learn to see the good you won’t otherwise notice and you tend to stick together.
- Understood myself a little better. I can work in a shitty environment, work the equivalent of two people, and endure low pay, but I can not work well when I don’t trust the people I work with or work for, or as I said, when I’m constantly walking on eggshells.
* My post is a bit vague – and I cannot state whether I am talking about my work, my married life, my various relationships, or whatever. But if you’re reading this, chances are, you already know anyway what I’m talking about. But needless to say, I am finally happy and free. For how long, I don’t know. Hopefully it lasts.