The World According to Joey: Lost in translation

Background: Joey doesn’t speak much Tagalog and his new yaya doesn’t speak much English. Needless to say, this makes for a very chaotic but super funny situation at home. Props to Joey though, for trying his best to speak only in Tagalog with his yaya.
Yaya: Joey, wag ka lumabas, may pupu ng aso dyan. (Joey, don’t go out. There’s dog poop outside.)
Joey: (unfazed, still opening the door; he is mortally grossed out by anything icky, in this case, dog poop)
Yaya: Joey, sabi na may pupu ng aso e. (Joey, I already told you there’s dog poop!)
Joey: (sensing the tone of his ate’s voice) Ate, ano sa English ng aso? (Ate, what’s English for “aso”?)
Yaya: (couldn’t figure out the English word, just opens the door and shows Joey what’s outside)
While eating breakfast:
Joey: Ate, wag too big un rice sa spoon ko.
Ate: Di naman tubig yang kanin mo.
Joey: No ate, sabi ko wag too big yun rice (points to his full mouth)
Ate: E hindi nga tubig yan, kanin nga.
Me: (couldn’t help overhearing) Yaya, sabi ni Joey wag masyado malaki un rice na bigay mo di nya kaya i-chew.
While in the car on our way to dinner last night, Joey, as usual, keeps asking his “why” questions.
Me: (exasperated that Joey has been asking the same question over and over) Joey, why don’t you just ask yourself the question? You already know the answer to your question. Just ask mommy what you don’t know.
Joey: But mom! I can’t ask myself. What if myself answers me back??? (with big, shocked eyes)
(laughter erupts in the car)

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