The World According to Joey: Sem Break Edition

I rarely get the chance to take Joey to the park, even on weekends, since we usually take our nap in the afternoon and wake up when it’s already dark. So I could tell Joey was really happy that I was taking him to the park before naptime during my vacation.

We played ball in the park but had to relocate to another side after I spied some cat poop on the grass (Joey gave a very violent “Eeew” when I told him why we had to move) and ended up on the bridge across one of the koi ponds at our place. A little boy, about two, promptly started following Joey, making signs that he wants to play as well.

Me: Joey, why don’t you let him borrow the ball?
Joey: No, I don’t want to let him play with it. (Moves further away)
Me: But Joey, sharing is a good thing.
Joey: (turns to me with annoyance) Mom, I don’t wanna be friends with kids who are smaller than me. I don’t wanna be friends with babies!
I laugh out loud at this, given that Joey is the smallest kid in his clique – his playmates are mostly six and up, and he barely reaches past the shoulders of some of his friends.
Joey was making a mess with his toys and running around the house holding cookies, and this after I had mopped the floor twice so naturally, I scolded Joey.
Me: Joey, stop scattering toys and crumbs all over the house. I don’t like it.
Joey: Ok, mom. (Stops throwing his toys in the living room and promptly moves to his room. Soon, I hear the sound of toys being thrown about).
Me: Joey, stop making a mess in your room. (I then went to my room to rest).
Joey: (walks in and angrily stomps his feet) Mom, you always get mad at me when I do something you don’t like!
Me: Of course, Joey. Because I want you to follow what mommy tells you to do.
Joey: But you always get mad when I’m kulit! (walks out)
Joey: Mom, why are you not fat?
Me: Because mommy doesn’t eat too much.
Joey: (in a conspiratorial whisper) But XXX’s mommy is fat.
They say that children always tell the truth. Well, this is one truth I would want Joey to keep to himself or I might end up getting into a fight. I remember a similar incident, when Joey heard a gay at the cinema talking, and he says oh so loudly, “Mom, why is that boy talking like a girl?” A good thing the “boy” in question was nice and just laughed when he heard Joey.
I’ve been helping Joey save up for an upcoming trip and have given him a coin bank where he could put coins at night. Of course, Ipe and I are doing most of the actual saving, and I often purposely have my bills changed so I could contribute more to the coin bank.
One night, I let Joey browse the internet so he could look at where we’d be going. He got so excited and wanted to visit and buy a lot of stuff shown on the internet and I saw this as an opportunity to get Joey to stop asking me to buy toys at the mall every time we go out.
Me: Joey, the trip is expensive so mommy can’t buy you all the toys you want. We need to save money. Can I just put the money in the coin bank and not buy you new toys?
Joey: Ok, mom. We’d put all our money in the coin bank. You don’t need to buy me a bike. It’s expensive.
Me: (I was touched by this- Joey had been nagging me for a bike for a couple of weeks now and had set his eyes on getting one for Christmas). Ok, Joey. I’ll just get you a small present for Christmas. But we still have a long way to go. You need to fill twenty more coin banks (he just finished one; I was joking of course, but the kid took me seriously).
Joey: (looks at me with panic in his eyes) But mom, that would take FOREVER! (stress on the word “forever,” at which point Joey’s voice reached a high pitch).
I ended up laughing after Joey’s outburst. Note to self: Don’t make similar jokes to Joey in the future. He’s still a kid.

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